


Second chance at first love

by CreateOwnHell



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: 93' line are best friends, Alternate Universe - College/University, Developing Relationship, Eventual Romance, First Everything, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Roommates, Side Relationships - Freeform, Tags May Change, changing past and future, forever young jooheon, i feel like i need to say it will be happy end, i mean romantic comedy i guess?, lil elements from all in, magic element? ya know the lovely blue liquid, there will be fluff and stuff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2018-11-13 19:14:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11191620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CreateOwnHell/pseuds/CreateOwnHell
Summary: Kihyun's adult life is boring and useless, so when a chance arrives to fix parts of his life...He is back to his university days, because that's where it all went wrong.Kihyun's biggest regret has always been Hyunwoo. And that's something he wants to fix.





	1. Chapter 1

‘’Kihyun. Don’t you ever wish you could go back in time and change few things in your past?’’

‘’What now?’’ Kihyun asked, his grip on the cup tightened at Minhyuk’s mention of the past.

‘’I mean, we are both in our thirties already, with a dead-end job in an office. Doing the same thing every day. And no one to go home to?’’ Minhyuk took another sip from his glass. ‘’Don’t you have regrets? Anything you wish you had done differently?’’

Kihyun furrowed his brows, it’s not like Minhyuk is wrong. It’s not like he hasn’t thought about his life and decisions that led him here before. If things had gone a little different.

He had dreams. Somewhere along the line, everything went wrong.

‘’Minhyuk.’’ Kihyun called for his attention. ‘’Shut up.’’

‘’No really, imagine if you could fix something from your past. What would…’’ Minhyuk stopped midsentence, the glare he got from Kihyun, burned holes into his pretty face. He got the hint and shut up immediately.

Minhyuk knew exactly where Kihyun’s life went wrong.

‘’Min… There are somethings that cannot be fixed.’’ Kihyun stood up from the chair, legs wobbling a little from the alcohol. He wasn’t lightweight, but he has been in the bar for hours now, constantly sipping little by little, he was bound to be at least a little tipsy.

‘’I’ll see you tomorrow.’’ With that he left.

 

_Go pick up Minhyuk from the bar. – Kihyun_

_Ok.– Hyungwon_

_Are you okay though? – Hyungwon_

_Yes. Why? – Kihyun_

_It’s just that, it’s the anniversary of his death. – Hyungwon_

_I’m fine, it’s been 15 years. – Kihyun_

_Yet you are still mourning. – Hyungwon_

 

After that Hyungwon received no answer from Kihyun. Hyungwon wasn’t worried. It’s been like this every year. An unbreakable pattern.

Kihyun planned on going home and sleep. Except his leg took him somewhere else. he found himself under the bridge he went to a lot as a student.

He sat down on the rock that was still there after all these years. Still as cold and uncomfortable. But there used to be moments when it was better. He made it better.

 

‘’Hey old man.’’ Someone was nudging Kihyun, who apparently had passed out there under the bridge.

Kihyun grunted and rubbed his eyes.

‘’What?’’ His eyes focusing on the figure in front of him. There was a guy who had very thin eyes, and curly hair. Kihyun could swear the guy’s hair was glittery under the moon light.

‘’You look **lost** and broken.’’ The guy said and sat down next to Kihyun, ignoring the glares he was getting from the shorter man.

‘’What makes you think that?’’ Kihyun was offended. How dare some random guy just say whatever he wants. I mean he is right, but still.

‘’Your aura.’’

‘’My what? Are you on some drugs kid?’’ Suddenly Kihyun was worried, for someone he didn’t even know. If he was high what is he going to, is he going to be fine?

‘’Nah.’’ The guy waved his hands dismissively. ‘’But you feel **guilty** as well. Don’t you?’’

‘’Listen kid, I don’t know what your problem is…’’ Kihyun’s words got cut.

‘’I can help.’’ The guy was quick to say.

‘’What makes you think I need help. And why would I accept help from someone I don’t even know.’’ Kihyun snorted at that. Really, what’s this person’s problem.

‘’Jooheon.’’ The guy said.

‘’Sorry what?’’ Kihyun was confused.

‘’My name.’’ he said again.

‘’Kihyun.’’ Finally, Kihyun’s brain caught up and he did have manners after all.

‘’I know.’’ Jooheon said dismissively. ‘’Do you want to fix your mistakes?’’

‘’Yes.’’ Kihyun was too tired to fight, it’s easier to just tell the truth. And he was a little intoxicated anyways.

Jooheon pulled out his necklace under the jacket. It had a tiny bottle filled with blue liquid hanging on the chain.

‘’What’s that?’’ Kihyun asked, eyeing the tiny bottle suspiciously.

‘’Your salvation.’’

‘’Looks more like my damnation.’’ Kihyun mentally high-fived himself for that good comeback.

‘’Good one.’’ Jooheon agreed.

‘’If you drink this,’’ Jooheon waved the bottle in front of Kihyun, ‘’you get to fix your mistakes.’’

‘’How do I know this is not just some poison, that will kill me? Why should I trust you?’’ Kihyun was giving him a stink eye.

‘’You don’t. But would you really pass an opportunity like this. It’s not like your life is worth living any ways. If what I’m giving you is a chance for something better, you’ll take it. If it’s poison and you die. You won’t mind anyways.’’ Jooheon calmly said. ‘’I know you hate your life.’’

‘’What’s the catch?’’ Kihyun asked, it sounds tempting honestly. He really has lost his sanity for the time being, that he is here listening to some stranger’s nonsense.

‘’No catch, just trying to help out a poor soul.’’ He handed the bottle to Kihyun.

Kihyun was staring at it intensely, thinking really long and hard. Jooheon was watching all sorts of emotions run across Kihyun’s face.  

‘’What will happen exactly? When I drink it?’’ Kihyun asked, shaking the bottle between his fingers. There were small specs of sparkles shining if the light hit it from the right angle.

‘’I can’t tell. It’s different for everyone.’’ Jooheon said.

Kihyun put the bottle into his pocket.

‘’You believe me?’’ Jooheon was surprised to say the least.

‘’I’m a little bit drunk, and today is an absolute shit day to live. And all I want is to go home and sleep.’’

‘’But you are taking the mysterious blue liquid with you?’’ Jooheon grinned.

‘’Like you said, whatever the outcome, I’m fine with either.’’ Kihyun said and walked away from Jooheon. There was just something off about him.

‘’Oh by the way,’’ Kihyun turned around to tell Jooheon something, except there was no one.

Kihyun almost shrugged the interaction off as a delusion, if it wasn’t for the bottle in his hand.

‘’Weird.’’ He kicked a pebble in front of him into the river. After this he actually went home.

With great struggle, he managed to unlock his front door. He kicked off his shoes and walked straight in to his bed room.

He didn’t even bother changing his clothes, he just crawled under the covers with the alcohol smelling clothes. He will hate himself for it in the morning for the sloppiness, but right now he didn’t care.

‘’Here’s to,’’ Kihyun took a moment to think, ‘’…to nothing…’’ And drank the liquid. He threw the bottle across the room and closed his eyes. Come what may, Kihyun just doesn’t care.

 

**

 

Someone was shaking Kihyun awake from his sleep.

Who the hell could it be, Kihyun lives alone. And he is 100% certain he came home alone.

He was rubbing the sleep off his eyes, when he saw the person who interrupted his sleep.

‘’Hyunwoo?’’ Kihyun was in shock. All he could do is stare at the other, his eyes almost popping out of his skull.

‘’Why do you look like you just saw a ghost.’’ Hyunwoo laughed. ‘’Get ready and let’s go, it’s unusual for you to sleep in. We have a dance practice in 10 minutes.’’ Hyunwoo went to the bathroom, leaving behind a baffled Kihyun.

 

Kihyun went to sleep at the age of 35 alone in his apartment. Only to wake up as the 19-year-old version of himself who used to share a dorm room with Hyunwoo.

 

_This is your chance to reshape your future Yoo Kihyun._


	2. Chapter 2

To Kihyun, Hyunwoo looked exactly like he remembered him.

Except brighter. God did Hyunwoo always shine like that.

Kihyun felt weird being around him.

Happy? Yes.

But also there was a heavy weight on his heart, dragging him down.

 

 

‘’Honestly, I’m surprised that you aren’t having much of a reaction to this. I mean any other person would be freaking out that they are back in their youthful days. But you…’’ Jooheon looked at Kihyun, wondering about him.

‘’I’m still in denial. I keep telling myself that this is a dream. If you expect me to have a breakdown, you got to be more patient. Also, can you not follow me around all the time?’’ Kihyun was irritated. Ever since he woke up to seeing the face of a person he has missed his entire life, he wanted to enjoy it. But Jooheon was constantly adding unnecessary comments, about Hyunwoo’s physique.

‘’Fine fine, wow you are grumpy aren’t you. Such a jealous boyfriend. And you two aren’t even dating.’’ Jooheon threw his hands up, deciding to let Kihyun have a peace of mind. ‘’How adorable. It warms my old heart, young people in love.’’ Jooheon cooed.

‘’You sound exactly like Changkyun. You two would have made such perfect friends. And I would have probably gone insane with the two of you’’ Kihyun was lost in thought.

‘’Who is Changkyun?’’ Jooheon perked up at that, suddenly interested in knowing about him.

‘’Kihyun, who are you talking to?’’ Hyunwoo came back from the cafeteria, carrying two cold water bottles, giving one to Kihyun.

‘’Uh?’’ Kihyun was confused, did he really not see Jooheon? He considered Hyunwoo lucky, Jooheon was so annoying.

‘’He can’t see me,’’ Jooheon whispered, ‘’unless I want him to. Also why does he hate sleeves? I’m not complaining though and neither is any one else from what I’ve noticed. However…’’ Whatever Jooheon was about to say was cut off by Kihyun.

‘’GO. AWAY.’’ Kihyun screamed at Jooheon. But to anyone else, it looked like Kihyun was out of his mind, yelling at nothing.

‘’No really Kihyun, are you okay’’ Hyunwoo made Kihyun look at him in the eyes full of concern.

Another sting in Kihyun’s heart.

Hyunwoo was so kind and good. Kihyun never did deserve the unconditionally love and affection he received from Hyunwoo.

Hoseok made damn sure to remind him that every time their paths crossed.

‘’I’m fine Hyunwoo.’’ Kihyun felt weird saying that name. He hasn’t let that name slip from his lips for years.

Everything about him hurt.

It felt like a fresh wound again. Not that it had ever healed.

‘’Kihyuuuun!’’ Someone’s voice reached his ears, it was so familiar.

‘’Oh Changkyun is back.’’ Hyunwoo told Kihyun, and waved at the younger boy, who was getting closer.

Kihyun wanted to run. Last time he saw Changkyun, it hadn’t been a nice meeting. Changkyun still blames him. As does Hoseok.

Oh god, Kihyun lost more than he remembered.

All he has to do now is play along. Because they are all oblivious about the future. The future where one of them is dead and two of them hate Kihyun’s guts.

Kihyun should have counted himself lucky that atleast Minhyuk and Hyungwon stayed, but in all honesty, they should have left Kihyun rot in hell alone.

‘’Hi Kyunnie.’’ Kihyun’s voice broke, but it went unnoticed, thankfully.

‘’Is that him?’’ Jooheon spoke up again, Kihyun startled at that. ‘’He is adorable. I might actually have to make myself visible.’’

‘’Hoseok sent me to tell you two to hurry up, Hyungwon and Minhyuk are hungry, but Hoseok won’t let them eat unless we are all together.’’ Changkyun explained, while gasping for air. Did he run just to tell this. The two must be really hungry then.

‘’We should go before they attack Hoseok.’’ Hyunwoo stood up and took Kihyun’s hand into his.

They weren’t in a relationship or anything, but Hyunwoo always held Kihyun’s hand whenever possible.

Kihyun almost started crying at this. It’s been too long.

Back then he didn’t pay much attention to these little things Hyunwoo did.

But now, every touch was always lingering and full of warm and comfort. Something he haven’t felt in years.

Hyunwoo always put him first. Always.

The past version of Kihyun really didn’t deserve him.

Hyunwoo smiled at him, and Kihyun felt young again. There were butterflies in his stomach he never noticed he had.

 

Hoseok looking at him like he they were friends, was another punch in the gut for Kihyun. It’s Kihyun’s fault that Hoseok lost that selflessness and kindness.

Changkyun looking at him like he was a role model to the youngest made Kihyun want to disappear, because this is not how Changkyun looked at him later in life.

Hyunwoo, Son Hyunwoo, always looking at him with love in his eyes. Kihyun regrets taking Jooheon’s ‘’cure’’.

He could have lived until the end of his days the way he always had. Pitying himself, hating his life, being stuck in the same old routine. Anything was better than seeing what he had lost.

‘’Hey Kihyun, you look so white in the face, like you’ve seen a ghost. Are you okay?’’ Hoseok asked, his voice full of nothing but care.

Kihyun wanted to run.

He doesn’t deserve this. He doesn’t know how to fix this.

‘’I need to get back to my miserable adult life Jooheon. This is too much.’’

‘’No can do Yoo Kihyun.’’ Jooheon was serious, Kihyun hasn’t seen this look on Jooheon, he was terrified.

He has gotten himself into something dark and ominous, he just knows it by the look in Jooheon’s eyes.

‘’Do you think that I just happened to walk by that bridge that night? And decided to give some random drunk guy the fix for his problems.’’

‘’Fuck you! You lied. When I asked you what’s the catch. You lied about everything. I don’t even want to know why you really gave me that’’ Kihyun was furious.

‘’I need you to forget your future life. I will be your guide to fixing it, but I need you to forget everything.’’

‘’How am I supposed to do that. Are you going to give me that weird liquid again, which by the way, tasted awful.’’

‘’No, but I can lock your memories. All the things about your life will seem like a bad dream to you.’’

Jooheon approached Kihyun, who immediately took a step back, away from Jooheon.

‘’Don’t you trust me?’’ Jooheon asked mockingly.

‘’No, not really.’’

‘’Oh Kihyun here you are, I was looking for you.’’ Hyunwoo appeared from behind the corner. ‘’Who’s he?’’ He asked about Jooheon.

‘’Hi, I’m Jooheon, I hope we can become great friends.’’ Jooheon smiled, his dimples were very prominent.

Jooheon offered his hand and Hyunwoo took it.

‘’Nice to meet you. You can join us and our friends Jooheon. If you want of course.’’ Hyunwoo offered.

‘’You can go ahead Hyunwoo, I need to talk to Jooheon real quick.’’ Kihyun told Hyunwoo.

‘’Okay, make it fast, it’s lonely without you by my side.’’ Hyunwoo said this like It was nothing, but he meant every word. He used to say things like that a lot and Kihyun never paid any attention.

When Hyunwoo was out of the hearing distance Kihyun turned to Jooheon.

‘’Do it. Lock my memories. Whatever it is you need me to do or what your plan is I don’t care. I just want to experience this happiness one more time without being weighed down by the things I know.’’

‘’My pleasure.’’ Jooheon said and put hands on Kihyun’s temples.

When he took them away, Kihyun looked a little lost.

‘’And you are?’’ was the first thing Kihyun asked from Jooheon.

Jooheon almost rolled his eyes, how many times does he have to introduce himself.

‘’Call me Jooheon. And your friends are waiting for us, let’s go.’’

Kihyun smiled, because he was thinking about Hyunwoo.

‘’So this is how he was back in university hm.’’ Jooheon mused to himself.

 

_I want to give you the ending you deserved._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo~~ kihyun why was u like that, do justice this time around


	3. Chapter 3

‘’Glad you could make it Kihyun.’’ Hoseok grinned at him and Hyunwoo handed him his plate.

The table was lively as ever with them.

There was Hoseok, Hyunwoo’s childhood friend and training partner for many years now.

Next to Hoseok sat Hyungwon, the latest addition to their group. Him and Hoseok have a thing going on for a while and the entire table is taking bets on how long it will take.

Minhyuk who was practically glued to the their youngest friend Changkyun who looked indifferent from afar. But he secretly enjoyed the closeness Minhyuk provided. A lot.

Minhyuk, the life of their little gang, who somehow pulled all of them together.

Kihyun looked at them all, thinking how lucky he was to have met these people.

He must have done something right in his life for the universe to make him feel happy like that.

And then there was Hyunwoo.

His roommate, his friend, his best friend (Minhyuk don’t look at me like that, you are like my brother don’t worry.)

Minhyuk was the kind of person who made friends easily with everyone, so for him to have met Hyunwoo and in addition, Hoseok and drag them into his life was no biggie. And for that Kihyun was ever so grateful to him.

 

‘’Hyung!’’ Changkyun screeched, after Minhyuk was practically breathing down his neck like he was going to bite it. ‘’I’m trying to eat!’’

‘’Minhyuk, let the kid eat, he is short enough as he is.’’ Hyungwon commented, while eating gracefully like a model.

‘’Yah!! Hyungwon-hyung!!’’ Changkyun looked baffled. ‘’Kihyun-hyung is the same height as me, why aren’t you calling him short.’’

‘’I would, but you see that tall buff tree that is always next to him? We call him Hyunwoo and I’m not suicidal enough to have that wrath on my life.’’

‘’Hyunwoo-hyung is harmless, look at him. All soft and cuddly.’’ Hoseok joined in the conversation. ‘’I’ve known the guy for my entire life, and he once cried when he caught a butterfly and accidentally hurt it’s wings.’’

Hyunwoo was blushing furiously, why was he at the center of attention again? He enjoys being on the sidelines, observing his friends.

‘’I think you are talking about yourself Hoseok.’’ Hyunwoo said casually, before focusing back to his own food.

Kihyun, who has been quiet the entire time, was just silently watching them all.

‘’Are you okay Kihyun? You are awfully quiet today? Are you sick?’’ Hyunwoo leaned closer to Kihyun, worried for him. 

‘’Mm. I’m good, just a little bit tired. Must have not slept good at night.’’ Kihyun explained. He did have some weird dreams, there was that guy Jooheon, who he just met for the first time today morning and Hyunwoo wasn’t in his life, Changkyun and Hoseok hatede him and everything was horrible. Grade A nightmare if Kihyun said so himself.

‘’Alright.’’ Hyunwoo nodded and subtly offered some of the food from his plate. He knows Kihyun loves it when someone shares their food, like it’s somehow better if it’s not from his own plate, never mind the fact that it’s all the same. It’s the idea behind it that matters.

 

‘’Sup guys!’’ the curly haired guy said and it startled everyone around the table. How long has he been there and how come now one noticed him.

‘’And you are?’’ Hyungwon was the only one who managed to compose himself rather quickly. Ignoring the guy would be impolite.

‘’Jooheon. I met Kihyun just few minutes ago. And your very handsome friend over here…’’ he pointed at Hyunwoo, ‘’invited me over.’’

At that everyone collected themselves, after all if Hyunwoo invited the guy here, then he is good in their book.

So the 6-membered group became 7 just like that.

 

 

***

 

Kihyun was spacing out. For some reason something in his heart hurt whenever he looked at Hyunwoo. And he didn’t know how to describe it. It was soul-wrenching kind of pain. As if he has lost someone, that someone being Hyunwoo. But it makes no sense, when the man is always by his side.

But he also felt almost ecstatic. And he hates that he is swinging between utter devastation and blinding happiness.

And all of this feels familiar. Like he has already experienced all of this. Déjà vu maybe.

 

***

 

‘’Ooh Kihyun. I think we are going to win tomorrow.’’ Hyunwoo said after they finished practicing. He was shining brightly. It is, after all, Hyunwoo’s passion to dance. And everyone, including Kihyun himself loved watching him move, becoming one with the music. Mesmerising.

‘’With the way you move, I don’t see why do you need me to there as well. I’m awkward. And you will lose because of me’’ Kihyun asked him genuinely.

‘’Because, I want you to be part of my happiness Ki. I don’t care if I win or lose, I just want to do something together with you and have fun.’’

‘’Who taught you to be this greasy old man.’’ Kihyun blushed and averted his eyes, looking anywhere but the man standing in front of him.

‘’You did.’’ Hyunwoo pressed his finger between Kihyun’s eyebrows. ‘’Thank you though. I know you don’t want to be here, but I appreciate it.’’

‘’It’s fine, I wouldn’t be anywhere else but here.’’ Kihyun jumped up from the chair he was sitting on. ‘’Let’s go through the dance one more time and then meet up the others.’’

 

***

 

Kihyun was in the bathroom, looking into the mirror and hardly recognized the face. It was him, but different.

His eyes were empty, gone was the glint which he so clearly remembered possessing.

The bags under his eyes were so dark, it was painful to watch. He was skinnier, kind of resembling a walking corpse if Kihyun was honest.

He both knows and doesn’t know what is looking back at him.

Maybe he is sleeping, and this is a dream. Maybe this is a vision of him in the future.

Jooheon popped up behind Kihyun, startling the shorter one, who was deep in thought and examining the features he hated.

‘’I kind of want to let you have your memories back, but at the same time, I can’t afford you to have a breakdown when you haven’t even gotten to the start of the story. This is more like a prologue if anything.’’ The man said.

Kihyun looked confused. What is this guy on about. And why the hell is he in his bathroom.

‘’You look familiar, have we met before. I mean before today?’’

‘’See, I want to answer you, but I can’t. Not my story to write, it’s yours. By the way, how about you keep closer watch to that handsome guy you are living with. You don’t know what you might miss. He is the key element in this whole thing.’’

‘’Who are you?’’

‘’This is like the millionth time you are asking me this. It’s getting old Yoo Kihyun.’’ Jooheon’s eyes darkened.

Jooheon got closer to the shorter man and reached out his hands to touch Kihyun’s temples.

Kihyun closed his eyes instinctively, it felt familiar. It felt warm. Like an echo from somewhere he is supposed to remembered but has forgotten.

When he opened his eyes again, Jooheon was gone and the reflection in the mirror was a healthy and lively looking figure again.

 

He went to the room he shared with Hyunwoo, the urge to crawl next to him was overwhelming after this weird encounter he had in the bathroom.

‘’Hey? Can I sleep next to you, I’m kind of confused and scared.’’ Kihyun said honestly. What’s the use of hiding anything from him.

‘’Of course.’’ Hyunwoo agreed easily. The temptation to ask what’s up was lingering on his tongue but knew better than to bribe, especially when the both of them were tired.

He will talk tomorrow. But right now, he needs to keep Kihyun safe from something he doesn’t quite understand, but he feels like something is happening, something he doesn’t understand.

Kihyun took a pillow from his bed and laid down pulling his end of the blanket on.

‘’Good night hyung.’’

‘’Night Kihyun.’’

 

 

_This is your fault. If it weren’t for you I’d still have my best friend._

_Him meeting you was the worst thing that could have ever happened to him._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sup ? m pickin up my works again haha,, before autumn comes and takes me away again ~~ enjoyy

**Author's Note:**

> yooo~ it is i the local mess.  
> i want someone to stop me from starting chaptered fics like rn immediatelly?? take away my internet access and my computer pls.~~  
> like arent ya all tired of me constantly popping up in showki tag? lmao~~


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